Aquaviews - SCUBA Blog » Scuba Humor

Beware the Feline…and the Fish!

Creedence — Sat, 05 May 2012 17:39:32 +0000

This video is not exactly new, but watching it never gets old. Not so tough now, are ya, cat?

Beware the Feline…and the Fish! was written by Creedence for Aquaviews - SCUBA Blog - Bringing You The Other 70% Of Our World

3 Icky Things No One Tells You About SCUBA

Creedence — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 19:33:11 +0000

There’s a lot to learn about SCUBA diving, and most of your learning will happen “on the job,” so to speak. There will naturally be things that some people prioritize on the Need-to-Know list more than others, but there are a few kind of…well, gross things that may not come up during your initial training, so allow us to give you a little heads up. You will be more than accustomed to these, sooner than you think, so there’s nothing to fear. Just know that these little uh, trifles are normal in the SCUBA world, and they become part of everyone’s dives.

No, this is not a joke, and yes, you will spit in your mask. If you want to see, that is. You see, the pocket of air between your nose/eyes/skin and the lens of your mask can become quite humid, which causes condensation on the inside of your mask. This is not at all what you’re going for. You need some kind of anti-fog solution to treat the lenses of your mask before your dive. Great news — just such a product is on the market! But you didn’t bring it on the boat? Well, your dive is almost foiled until…you spit in your mask, and rub it all over the inside of the lenses, and give it a final rinse in the water. Problem solved. A bit icky, but it works every time. Kinda makes you wonder what’s in the commercial defoggers!

We probably don’t need to tell you that dive boats and dive sites are not known for having a restroom, but if you hydrate properly before the dive, you’re going to need one. It’s surprisingly hard to make yourself do it for the first time, because it goes against everything your body has known since the age of 2 or 3, but you will pee in your wetsuit at least once. There are some divers who swear that they have never — and will never — pee in their wetsuit, but just know that if you need to, you’re not in a world all by yourself. And on those cold dives, peeing in your wetsuit has its advantages. But be sure to utilize those wetsuit shampoos and conditioners, just to make it a little less gross — if it even bothers you at all!

Ah, the mucus. Probably the biggest ick of them all. When diving, especially in cold water, you will notice an increase in your mucus production, which will be coming out of your nose and mouth upon surfacing. Some divers have even experienced bloody mucus, but that usually pertains to other issues than water pressure. Don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal (no matter how embarrassing) to have slime dripping from your face when you come up — just turn away and rinse off in the water real quick, and you’ll be just fine. There’s no way around it. It’s just science.

Original images via Bramus!, quinet, Ed.ward

3 Icky Things No One Tells You About SCUBA was written by Creedence for Aquaviews - SCUBA Blog - Bringing You The Other 70% Of Our World

Finally, A Fin For Everyone!

Creedence — Sun, 01 Apr 2012 18:03:03 +0000

The battle rages eternal between divers over which fin is superior: blades or splits. Proponents of blade fins testify to their strength in currents and better propulsion for various types of kicks, while split fin fans enjoy faster propulsion through the water with less effort. It really comes down to what your needs are as a diver; if you’re a slow swimmer, split fins might quicken your pace, while a stronger swimmer may find the blade to be more effective. Sadly, the two sides have never been able to come to an accord.

In an effort to end the feud, OMS and Apollo have teamed up to produce the ultimate fin: The BioStream Ultimate Fin. Designed using each company’s best seller, the Apollo Bio Fin and the OMS Slipstream, these revolutionary fins combine the power of the blade fin with the speed of the split fin, creating the most perfect propulsion ever experienced by any diver, ever. Their bright yellow color will make sure everyone sees you when you’re finning majestically through the water.

End the war once and for all, and just get the BioStream Ultimate Fin. You’re never going to need another fin. Available exclusively at LeisurePro.

BioStream Ultimate Fin, $350

Finally, A Fin For Everyone! was written by Creedence for Aquaviews - SCUBA Blog - Bringing You The Other 70% Of Our World

How to Talk Like a SCUBA Diver: Vol. 1

Creedence — Thu, 29 Mar 2012 19:07:34 +0000

If you’re new to SCUBA diving, there are some terms and phrases divers use that may confuse you, so we thought we’d give you a little translation guide accompanied by relevant pictures to help you get the hang of the lingo. Once you have a grasp on what these words and phrases mean, you’ll be able to understand what the heck your diver friends are talking about, or even use them to impress your non-SCUBA friends. With enough practice, you too can learn to talk like a SCUBA diver!

Example: “The viz was so good today, probably a hundred feet or more!”

Example: “You should be glad you didn’t come to Murky Shore the other day, it was a real Braille dive!”

Example: “Derek couldn’t handle the ride over, he was feeding the fish all the way there.”

Example: “ I was so glad I remembered my pony bottle when I realized I was out of air!”

Example: “I can’t believe how much colder it was below that thermocline!”

Stay tuned for the next edition of How to Talk Like a SCUBA Diver!

Original photos via robert_hornung, Thespis377, MadeByMark, Tim Sheerman-Chase

How to Talk Like a SCUBA Diver: Vol. 1 was written by Creedence for Aquaviews - SCUBA Blog - Bringing You The Other 70% Of Our World

Merry Christmas SCUBA Claus!

Creedence — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 19:54:46 +0000

Everyone knows that this is a big day for Santa, delivering toys and treats to all the good boys and girls of the world. But Santa doesn’t stop there; there are many other kinds of good girls and boys under the sea as well. Mrs. Claus was a bit curious about the happenings of Santa’s submarine deliveries, so she decided to come along for the ride. From all of us at LeisurePro, Merry Christmas and have a wonderful holiday!

Merry Christmas SCUBA Claus! was written by Creedence for Aquaviews - SCUBA Blog - Bringing You The Other 70% Of Our World

Beware Underwater Pickpockets

Creedence — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 22:53:50 +0000

While many of us explore the depths for the peace, quite and serenity of the underwater world, many SCUBA divers don’t realize they have entered a whole new world of threats. Typically associated with packed metropolitan streets, pickpockets and muggers can be found in some of the most beautiful underwater environments too.

Probably one of the more famous and extreme cases of an underwater mugging, this octopus not only steals a camera, but when approached by his victim attempts to steal his speargun. New research shows the unknown intelligence of octopuses, but we can see their violent intentions by stealing weapons in this video.

Usually perceived as peaceful and majestic, no one would expect a manta ray to be behind an insidious plot to steal thousands of dollars worth of camera equipment. While the equipment was eventually recovered, the manta ray took it for a little bit of a joyride before dumping the merchandise.

Octopus and manta rays aren’t the only underwater animals who like to attempt to steal camera equipment. This time we have a shark “mistaking” a camera for food. We can safely assume the shark wanted to turn the cameras on the divers.

Divers aren’t the only ones who are the victims of thefts from below. In this video we have humpback whales stealing food from birds. With organized crime inspired coordination, the humpback whales coordinate their hunting efforts to steal from the disadvantaged birds on the surface.

Be careful on your next dive, the underwater world is full of opportunistic thieves!

For all of these instances of “theft” there are countless peaceful, amazing encounters. Our commentary is meant as humorous and you shouldn’t fear animals stealing your SCUBA gear!

Beware Underwater Pickpockets was written by Creedence for Aquaviews - SCUBA Blog - Bringing You The Other 70% Of Our World

Fun With Bubble Rings

Creedence — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 21:33:51 +0000

Blowing bubble rings is one of the more entertaining ways to pass the time underwater, and humans aren’t the only mammals that get a kick out of it. Cetaceans are actually quite adept at making bubble rings, and even appear to do it just for fun! It is thought that dolphins are able to perceive the bubbles with sonar, but research is still underway to determine why they make them in the first place, and if it is learned behavior or inherited ability. Whatever the answers to these questions may be, there can be no doubt that these creatures are masters of self-amusement!

Fun With Bubble Rings was written by Creedence for Aquaviews - SCUBA Blog - Bringing You The Other 70% Of Our World

SCUBA Diver Video: Octopus Steals Camera

Creedence — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 18:30:00 +0000

Some dive professionals who frequent waters populated by octopus refer to them as the “cats of the sea” (not to be confused with SCUBA cat). This description is based on their frequent curiosity but also short attention spans.

In the video below, a diver comes up on an octopus who takes an interested in his camera. The camera runs throughout the ordeal while the diver chases the octopus trying to recover his SCUBA gear. Eventually, the SCUBA diver in the video is able to entice the octopus away from the camera by offering his spear gun. Luckily, the octopus didn’t take the time to figure out the spear gun and let it go as well, leaving the SCUBA diver with some incredible video. Check it out:

Should you encounter a curious octopus while on a dive, hold your hand over your regulator and mask so the octopus doesn’t accidentally pull them off, then patiently wait for it to lose interest and swim away.

SCUBA Diver Video: Octopus Steals Camera was written by Creedence for Aquaviews - SCUBA Blog - Bringing You The Other 70% Of Our World

A Sea of Smiles

Creedence — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 01:18:59 +0000

Although these creatures don’t actually contract their facial muscles into smiles like humans do, they sure seem like they’re hamming it up for the camera, don’t they? We dare you not to smile back at these happy faces!

via Dan Hershman

via Just Taken Pics

via footloosiety

via Bob Owen

via Clicksy

via USFWS Endangered Species

via hoshner_sigmaniax

via jan-borgstede

via og2t // ou gee tew tee

A Sea of Smiles was written by Creedence for Aquaviews - SCUBA Blog - Bringing You The Other 70% Of Our World

Good Enough to Eat: 9 Fish Named After Common Foods

Creedence — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 02:01:52 +0000

We humans can be so weird when it comes to naming species, and it begs the question: do these animals really resemble the things we are naming them after, or is it purely for our own amusement? Maybe scientists got to naming these species on an empty stomach. There must be really scientific reasons for naming them after common foods…any guesses?

Pancake Batfish

via NOAA Photo Library

Lemon Shark

via pony_33406

Chocolate Chip Starfish

via Velo Steve

Yellow Tang

via laszlo-photo

Sea Cucumber

via Dan Hershman

Butter Sole

via Girl Interrupted Eating

Milkfish

via Dennis Wong

Oreo Dory

via NOAA Photo Library

Pumpkinseed Sunfish

via cliff1066™

Good Enough to Eat: 9 Fish Named After Common Foods was written by Creedence for Aquaviews - SCUBA Blog - Bringing You The Other 70% Of Our World