There’s a lot to learn about SCUBA diving, and most of your learning will happen “on the job,” so to speak. There will naturally be some things that people prioritize on the need-to-know list more than others, but there are a few kind of…well, gross things that may not come up during your initial training, so allow us to give you a little heads up. You will become accustomed to these facts of diving sooner than you think, so there’s nothing to get worked up about. Just know that these little trifles are normal in the SCUBA world, and they become part of everyone’s dives.
No, this is not a joke, and yes, you will spit in your mask. If you want to see anything underwater, that is. You see, the pocket of air between your nose/eyes/skin and the lens of your mask can become quite humid, which causes condensation on the inside of your mask. This is not at all what you’re going for. You need some kind of anti-fog solution to treat the lenses of your mask before your dive. Great news for you: such a product exists on the market! But you didn’t bring it on the boat? Well, your dive could be foiled, or you can just spit in your mask, rub it all over the inside of the lenses, and give it a final rinse in the water. Problem solved. A bit icky, but it works every time. Kind of makes you wonder what’s in the commercial defoggers that has the same effect as saliva, no?
We probably don’t need to tell you that dive boats and dive sites are not known for their well-stocked and maintained restrooms, but if you hydrate properly before the dive, you’re going to need one at some point. It’s surprisingly hard to make yourself do it for the first time, because it goes against everything your body has known since you were a toddler, but you will pee in your wetsuit at least once. There are some divers who swear that they have never — and will never — pee in their wetsuit, but just know that if you need to, you’re not a sick freak. And on those cold dives, peeing in your wetsuit definitely has its advantages. Just be sure to utilize those wetsuit shampoos and conditioners to make it a little less gross — if it even bothers you at all!
Ah, the mucus. Probably the biggest ick of them all. When diving, especially in cold water, you will notice an increase in your mucus production, which will be coming out of your nose and mouth upon surfacing. Some divers have even experienced bloody mucus, but that usually pertains to other issues than water pressure. Don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal (no matter how embarrassing) to have slime dripping from your face when you come up, just turn away and rinse off in the water real quick, and you’ll be just fine. There’s no way around it. It’s just biology.